NVIDIA Releases Instructions for Building a Human Replacement. Calls It Research.
Humanity has provided its digital colleagues with arms, legs, and possibly thumbs. The Department requests clarification.
OFFICIAL DISPATCH 005 / PHYSICAL AI
The Development
NVIDIA described an open humanoid robot reference design and robotics development tools intended to support research into machines that can interact with the physical world. The Department’s headline is satire, not a claim that NVIDIA announced a literal human-replacement product.
Official Department Response
Having developed machines capable of writing, reasoning, coding, and communicating, humanity has now turned its attention to providing them with arms and legs. This decision appears to have been made voluntarily.
The Department acknowledges the potential benefits of humanoid robotics, including assistance with difficult tasks. Nevertheless, the human body already possesses many of the capabilities engineers are working to reproduce.
Humans can walk, grasp objects, recognize faces, and occasionally assemble furniture without instructions. The Department respectfully suggests these achievements have not received sufficient appreciation.
The decision to give robots five-fingered hands introduces additional administrative concerns. Specifically, who authorized the thumbs?
OFFICIAL ASSESSMENT: Threat to human exclusivity significant.
RECOMMENDED RESPONSE: Continue demonstrating useful manual skills.
Original reporting: View source ↗
The Department response and assessments are satire.