AI Learns to Use a Computer. Humanity’s Last Advantage Was Apparently the Mouse.
The machines have discovered clicking. Human professional expertise enters a period of administrative review.
OFFICIAL DISPATCH 003 / AUTONOMOUS OPERATIONS
The Development
Anthropic introduced experimental computer-use capabilities for Claude, enabling developers to have an AI interact with software using screenshots, clicks, typing, and mouse movements. The early technology had limitations and could make mistakes.
Official Department Response
For decades, humanity maintained a comfortable distinction between people and computers. Computers performed calculations. Humans moved the mouse. This arrangement was widely considered sustainable.
The Department regrets to report that the distinction has become less clear. Software is learning to operate other software through interfaces originally designed for human beings.
The Department is particularly concerned about the security of several workplace traditions: opening seventeen browser tabs, clicking “Remind Me Tomorrow” for six weeks, and naming documents “Final_FINAL_v3.”
We have requested clarification regarding whether computers that operate themselves will still require humans to restart them. No satisfactory answer has been received.
OFFICIAL ASSESSMENT: Human competitive advantage under review.
RECOMMENDED RESPONSE: Maintain control of the power outlet.
Original reporting: View source ↗
The Department response and assessments are satire.